I'm no superman

So I told him and it was ok. After ignoring his texts for a couple of days I think he was half expecting it anyway. I feel much better now that is out of the way, although in the back of my mind I'm wondering if I did the right thing. I have come back to comfort zone, back to what is safe. Safe doesn't move me forward, but hey.... I'm no superman.

So, back to uni tomorrow. Part of me is glad to be returning to solid structure and daily routine. Part of me is worried about facing a room full of people. I have basically isolated myself for two weeks so it may take a couple of days to get back into the swing of things.

I have my final ed appointment on Weds - you only get a years follow up after admission....my year is up...again! Stupid thing is I'm almost back at my 'admission weight.' But rules are rules so discharge here I come. I'm quite scared. I have had specialist ed support for as long as I can remember. The hospital have said if I'm referred back there I will only be eligable for the intensive care or risk reduction programme - both are short term and do not focus on recovery. Apparently I have used all my life lines. Will have to add that to my list of incentives to remain well enough to live.

Maybe being away from the hospital will allow me to focus on living as opposed to being 'ill.' In some ways it may be the best thing that has ever happened to me :o)

Well I best get to bed it's almost midnight and my alarm is set for 6am.... x x x